WWE RAW 4/18/11

WWE RAW 4/18/11
April 18th, 2011
O2 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 18,000 +/-???

Your hosts are JIM FUCKING ROSS, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole

We start the show off with R-Truth coming out to the ring and getting a great reaction from the crowd. He says he's very happy because he's been down a long road of trials, tribulations, and demons to get to this WWE title shot. He promises to win the title at Extreme Rules and become the most fightingist champion of champions who will take on anyone, anywhere, anytime. Nice babyface promo here and the crowd eats it up until John Morrison comes down to the ring and congratulates Truth on his "good luck" from all of the outside shenanigans during the gauntlet match last week.JoMo says he's not in shape, and then shows a clip from the gauntlet match showing R-Truth cooling down with a bottle of water while waiting for Cena to make his entrance. Am I missing something here? Morrison says Truth is in as good of shape as a smoker can be. Oh no, R-Truth smokes! Won't somebody please think of the children? Truth says he's trying to quit and then says he knows that Morrison is just trying to get in his head to set up a match for Truth's WWE title shot jokingly, but Morrison accepts. JoMo says the Draft is next week and this could be the last time these two wrestle. Truth tries to back off from the match but he realizes the crowd wants to see them wrestle, so he relents and here we go...


R-Truth vs. John Morrison

This looks like a good opener, how about that? Cole tries to claim that Morrison just pulled the oldest trick in the book. Where is this book and who wrote it? I say this every week, but it's great to hear JR on commentary. Feeling out process between both men to start with a nice exchange of holds. Truth goes and gets a drink of water while we cut to commercial. When we return things have become more heated both in the ring and on commentary between Cole and JR. Truth takes control with a side-headlock. Morrison fights out of it and it's literally agony to listen to Lawler and Cole insult each other and not talk for one second about the match in the ring. Truth blocks a suplex attempt and gives Morrison the suplex-stunner variation he's been using recently. Truth shouts "GOTCHA!" and goes for his reverse STO finisher but Morrison blocks it and hits the Starship Pain to pick up the win at 4:00 (shown). Not exactly the good match these two are capable of, this was mostly R-Truth working chinlocks until JoMo hit his finisher. More of an angle than a match. Blegh. *


After the match Truth is obviously devastated, but he really only has himself to blame. He booked the match himself after all. Truth YANKS Morrison off the top rope while he's celebrating though and gets a big chorus of boos for it. He hits a vicious running knee to Morrison in the ring and this crowd that was just cheering the hell out of Truth is now booing him thoroughly. Truth hits another running knee, this time outside the ring, and almost looks regretful about what he's done. He grabs a bottle of water off of the commentator's table (I sweat to God I hear a "Water!" chant) and slams it into JoMo's head as a big "R-Truth Sucks" chant starts up. He lets John know that this is his fault and gives him the reverse STO finisher on the outside floor. Morrison is selling all of this like he's just been shot multiple times, which only adds to the drama. Truth grabs a pack of cigarettes from some random fan (looks like Marlboro Lights) and lights it up, which I shit you not, gets him a bunch of heat. Probably because smoking indoors in a public place in England is illegal (and most other places these days). I am not even making this shit up, not one but TWO people in the crowd audibly shout "THINK OF THE CHILDREN TRUTH!". Have I traveled back in time or something? This was a really well done heel turn and the crowd went from popping for everything Truth did to booing him out of the building by the ending, which is impressive. I'm guessing this leads to an R-Truth vs. John Morrison feud over the summer.


Evan Bourne comes out for the next match but Vickie Guerrero interrupts for some nuclear heat. She introduces the "new and improved" Dolph Ziggler, which is just a new haircut and dye-job. I liked him as a blonde!


Dolph Ziggler vs. Evan Bourne

So I guess this is the new and improved Dolph Ziggler push. Bourne hits a big rana early and leaps off the second rope only to eat a big dropkick from Ziggler for a near fall. Ziggler works the old bow and arrow submission hold for a bit and then drops an elbow. Bourne tries fighting back with kicks and a high knee. Bourne rolls out of a pin attempt and hits a doublestomp before climbing to the top rope and going for the shooting star press, but Ziggler moves and Bourne lands on his feet only to eat the Zig-Zag from Dolph for the pin at 2:12. Why again did they put Bourne over Swagger in his return if they were just going to use him as a jobber? Short match, but holy shit, this was an AWESOME two minutes and twelve seconds. Give these guys 10 minutes and they could tear the house down. **¼


After the match Michael Cole claims he's going to be knighted by the Queen tonight in the ring. Suuure. And as if things couldn't get worse, we get a trailer for the latest WWE film "That's What I Am", which is quite possibly the most hackneyed, cliched, over-the-top and limp-wristed attempt at a coming-of-age film I've ever seen in my life. Oh and Randy Orton is in it. For five seconds. Oh and they got Ed Harris, somehow. Does Ed Harris owe Vince McMahon money from a poker game or something?



We get a nice little video package of all of the Edge retirement stuff over the last week. Nice little video.


Apparently Alberto Del Rio is going to be having a "retirement party" for Edge on this Friday's Smackdown.


The Miz's music hits and it's a huge mixed reaction, like some scary combination of half monster pop and half mega heel heat. Big reaction nevertheless. He grabs a mic and says that he's not happy about having to face Morrison and Cena now instead of Cena and Truth, and that he's definitely not happy about it being a steel cage match, which I guess is the announcement right here. Pinfall, submission, or escape rules apply. Sounds pretty decent to me. Miz thinks he's being screwed, so he has Riley set up a chair for him to sit on and wait for the RAW GM to intervene. We cut to commercial and when we return Miz is talking, apparently talking the entire commercial break. The WWE logo on the mic is upside down for the Miz, which is pretty awesome. Miz goes to do his "Awesome" catchphrase but suddenly Sin Cara's music hits and the former Mistico hits the ring. Cena's music hits though and he makes his way down to the ring to a very mixed reaction from this British crowd. The RAW GM finally sends an email that books Cena and Sin Cara against The Miz and Alex Riley in a tag team match, right now.


John Cena/Sin Cara vs. The Miz/Alex Riley

Cena and Riley start us off with Cena going to work on him. See, the idea here should be that the big babyface (Cena) teams up with the new underdog (Sin Cara) against the dastardly heels in an attempt to give a rub to Sin Cara. Only this crowd seems to strongly dislike Cena, probably because of The Rock feud, so that's not really going to work. Cena and The Miz square off now as Cena hits a fisherman's suplex and tries for the Attitude Adjustment, but Miz counters with a jumping sideslam. Miz and Riley trade quick tags, working over Cena in their corner and isolating him. Cena hits a running powerslam to make the comeback and gets the hot tag to Cara, who springboards in with quick kicks and forearms before taking The Miz out with a handspring back elbow and a flying headscissors. Cara tries another springboard but Riley grounds him and The Miz slams his back into the ring apron. Back inside Cara gets a victory roll for a near fall, but Miz gives him a big boot for one of his own. Now Cara plays the role of babyface in peril, being isolated in Riley and Miz's corner. Big dueling Cena chants until John gets the hot tag and cleans house on the heels. He hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and the Attitude Adjustment on Riley and then tags Cara in, who hits a lionsault for the pin at 7:03. This was as formulaic as it gets, but that's never a problem when you've got talented people out there. Cara is still adjusting to the WWE style, but he and Cena played their parts perfectly here, even if the crowd wasn't keen on Cena. Quite the decent TV tag match. **½


Eve Torres vs. Nikki Bella

This division is dead to me until Kong debuts. Eve does a nifty cartwheel to escape one of Brie's dreaded hairpulls to start us off. No heat for these women at all, what a shocker. Brie stomps away and applies an inverted chinlock. Eve hits an elbow and a jump kick then rolls her up for the win at 1:47. This was...something. Just not something good. DUD


After the match Cole gets on the mic and declares he's going to be knighted in a few minutes. Jack Swagger comes out and puts a big King's cape around Cole and pulls out a scroll (yes, a scroll) that declares Michael Cole as Sir Michael Cole. They bring out the Queen apparently...only it's clearly not the Queen, at all. I wonder if this offends anyone in attendance? Probably not. Queen gets NUCLEAR HEAT. She Knights Cole and he gives her a big fat kiss on the lips. Cole decides that since he's royalty now, he wants JR and the King to get in the ring and kiss his feet. King hits the ring but Swagger disposes of him with ease. JR is about to totally bust Cole's ass, but Swagger grabs him and puts him back in the ankle lock while Cole stuffs his dirty nasty foot in JR's face. Sweet Jesus, you bring back Jim Ross for THIS? To kiss Michael Cole's feet? Just move Cole to Smackdown as a pure heel, make JR the regular play-by-play man, and end this feud at Extreme Rules. Please.


Sheamus vs. Santino Marella

Before the match starts Sheamus says he wants to embarrass Santino. I don't think Santino can be embarassed. Sheamus dominates to start, as expected. Sheamus hits a series of elbows for a near fall and gets some boos from the crowd. Sheamus locks in a chinlock and hammers away on Santino's chest. Marella seriously hasn't gotten a single offensive move in yet. So tries for The Cobra but eats the Brogue Kick instead for the win at 3:37. This was just a total and complete squash for Sheamus, but there's nothing wrong with a squash match every now and again. Just make them shorter. Sheamus could use the wins. ½*


CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Crowd is pretty split here, it's probably 50/50 in terms of fan support. Nice to have a Wrestlemania rematch on free TV, I always look forward to those every year in April. Side headlock from Punk to start as the dueling chants start up instantly. Orton stomps away at Punk in the corner Josh Matthews reminds us that Nexus is banned from ringside. Are you sure they can't just be banned from television? Orton hits a series of clotheslines and a powerslam on Punk and then sets up for the RKO, but Punk evades it as we cut to commercial. We return with Punk body-slamming Orton and dropping a knee. Punk hits a snap suplex and floats over into the pin for a two count and then puts Randy in a chinlock. Orton rolls out of the ring for a breather and Punk flies off the apron with a running clothesline. Back inside the ring Punk gets a near fall and blows a kiss to the crowd while they have dueling chants for each man's finishing move. Punk locks his legs around Orton's neck in a vicegrip. Orton fights it off but Punk still delivers a running knee to the face. He tries for a bulldog but Orton counters with a back suplex for a two count of his own. Punk nails the bulldog now and tries a victory roll but again Orton kicks out. Punk lays in a series of kicks but Orton counters with a backbreaker and the Angle Slam (Kurt Angle tweets about this in 3, 2, 1...) for another close two count. Punk hits a springboard clothesline but that won't keep Randy down either. Orton hits a textbook superplex off the top. Punk counters out of the second rope DDT and tries for the GTS, but Randy counters and tries for the RKO, so Punk just says "fuck that" and kicks him square in the face for a close two count. Punk tries for the GTS but Orton counters out and rolls Punk up for the win at 12:00 (shown). This was an excellent television main event, and a better match than their encounter weeks ago Wrestlemania to be honest. Crisp execution, swank counters, false finishes, this match had it all. A perfect way to close out the show. ***½


After the match Nexus hits the ring and attacks Orton. Punk goes to hit the punt kick, but Orton jumps up and gives him the RKO. We close out the show with CM Punk flipping out in the ring, kicking the ring ropes.

Bottom Line: This was an excellent show with a lot of good stuff packed into a concise two hour broadcast. R-Truth turned heel, and it actually went over very well despite what you might have expected. His character has a whole new spark to it that could hopefully provide some energy to the midcard again. Cena and The Miz continue their feud and throw in Sin Cara and Alex Riley to even it out in a fun formula tag, and the whole thing is washed down with the cool, refreshing taste of a great CM Punk vs. Randy Orton main event with a clean finish. I was liking the show up until the main event, which solidified the recommendation here and the easy Thumbs Up.

Score: 7.5/10

TNA Lockdown 2011

TNA Lockdown 2011
April 17th, 2011
US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 4,000

Tonight's a big night for TNA, as for once a PPV has had a decent build to it and on paper this looks to be one of the stronger TNA PPVs in quite a few months. Tonight Sting defends the TNA World title in a triple threat match against Rob Van Dam and Mr. Anderson, while Jeff Jarrett and Kurt Angle square off in a 2/3 Falls match in the steel cage in what has to be the most anticipated match of the night. We've also got the annual Lethal Lockdown as well as a few other matches, so let's jump right into the show.


We get your usual opening promo focusing on all kinds of scary things like cages, blood, and fire. This entire opening promo seems to revolve around blood. We get it TNA, you let your guys blade, WWE doesn't. Now stop blading every damn week on TV and it might actually mean something when someone does it on PPV.


Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz


TNA X Division Title Number One Contender's Xscape Match
Chris Sabin vs. Robbie E vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. Amazing Red vs. Jay Lethal vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Suicide

Elimination rules here to start by pinfall or submission until it gets down to the final two, when it becomes an Xscape the cage match. What's with using X's instead of an "ES"? What is this, a mid 90s hip-hop album? The role of Suicide will be played by Okada tonight I do believe. Tag rules apply here, which should help keep the match from being a clusterfuck. The heels team up on Suicide to start. Lethal and Jeremy Buck trade armdrags and Lethal delivers a pair of backbreakers. Robbie E delivers an STO variation to Suicide and the masked man is the first eliminated at 2:47. Sabin and Lethal double-team Robbie for a bit, slamming him into the cage. Lethal and Sabin do a PHENOMENAL exchange of counter flips and armdrags that gets a nice pop from the crowd. Red tags in blocks a handspring back elbow attempt from Lethal. Red hits the Canadian Destroyer and Lethal is gone at 4:56 Red leaps off the ropes to Sabin but eats a nasty Michinoku Driver and a huge lariat and Red is gone at 5:54. Max Buck and Sabin square off and Buck hits a big springboard ace crusher to surprisingly eliminate Sabin at 7:22. Kendrick hops in and blocks a moonsault attempt from Max with his knees, and Jeremy tags in so it's brother vs. brother. Jeremy slams Max into the cage a few times and then hits a sick roundhouse kick right to Max's temple. Max rolls up Jeremy though and Jeremy is gone at 9:47. Max and Robbie, being the heels, team up on Kendrick now, launching him into the cage like a lawn dart. Kendrick fights back for a bit and then nails both men with a series of stiff kicks, the last of which is enough for Kendrick to eliminate Robbie E (thank God) at 11:30. It's down to Max Buck and Brian Kendrick as now the only way to win is to escape the cage. Kendrick tries running out quickly but gets taken down. Max Buck goes for a big powerbomb into the turnbuckle, but he sort of botches it and Kendrick misses the turnbuckle completely, slamming his head into the bottom of the mat in a nasty spot. Both men jockey for position back on top of the cage until Max sends the ref into the ropes, knocking Kendrick down and giving Max enough time to climb out for the win at 13:34. Decent enough opener, but for an X-Division opener you expect alot more excitement than what this match brought. There was a decent flow to the thing, and Max winning is a good thing because of the X-Division's desperate need for heels, but this was a bit disappointing considering who was in there. **¾


Eric Bischoff comes out to the ring to cut a promo and rile up the crowd a bit. Camera scans over the crowd and this truly is one of the biggest crowds TNA has ever had, somewhere in the 6000 person range from preliminary reports, which looks great here and really makes this seem like a big show. I've never been a fan of promos on PPV though, so this didn't do much for me. Doesn't do much for the crowd either as they really should be alot more fired up by this point then they are, and Bischoff sure as shit isn't going to help them.


Backstage Christy Hemme catches up with Scott Steiner and Crimson. Steiner lets us know he's going to kick some ass tonight. Whatever you say Big Booty Daddy.


TNA Tag Team Title #1 Contender's Four-way Match
Shannon Moore/Jesse Neal vs. Doug Williams/Brutus Magnus vs. Eric Young/Orlando Jordan vs. Scott Steiner/Crimson

Eric Young and Orlando Jordan on PPV makes me a very sad panda. Tag rules apply here. Eric Young tries escaping the cage to start, but it's pinfall and submission only. One lonely guy in the crowd chants "Super Eric!" while all of his friends pretend they don't know him. Jesse Neal and EY trade a ton of armdrags to start, too many armdrags quite frankly. Moore tags in and hits a spinning headscissors on Young before slapping on an armbar. Crowd is pretty dead here and they have been for the first 30 minutes of this show so far, not a great sign. The British Invasion trade quick tags and work over Neal with lariats and elbows. The crowd is getting restless now, chanting for Steiner. Neal fights off the British Invasion and gets the tag to Crimson, who lays in some big knees and a neckbreaker on Magnus for a two count. Steiner finally tags in and cleans house on the British Invasion with back body drops and belly-to-belly suplexes. Eric Young flies off the top rope right into another belly-to-belly from Steiner. Double-underhook suplex off the top from Steiner on Magnus, which Taz incorrectly calls a "belly to belly suplex". Moore tags Steiner for some heat, but half of the people in the ring aren't legal anyways right now so nobody really cares. Quebrada from Moore gets a two on Young but OJ breaks it up with a nasty reverse DDT variation that might just be the most impressive thing I've ever seen Jordan do in his entire career. Match totally breaks down from here with everyone coming in and hitting their big moves on each-other with no regard for tags. Young climbs out of the cage like a goof while Moore totally botches his springboard neckbreaker finisher (called the "Mooregasm", which is a candidate for stupidest finisher name ever) but somehow that's still enough for Ink Inc to get the win at 8:53. This was just a total mess of a match that honestly did not belong on PPV in the first place. Total Impact match here, and there was no regards for the tag rules and a few ugly botches. Not pretty. *


Backstage Madison Rayne tells off Christy Hemme and Tara, as her match with Mickie is next.


TNA Knockouts Title Hair vs. Title Match
Madison Rayne © vs. Mickie James

It's the feud that never ends, hopefully ending tonight. Rayne has really improved on the mic but unfortunately she's just so godawful in the ring that all of this great hype for this match is going to be for nothing most likely. She does have awesome theme music though. Mickie is BRUTAL to start, just flinging Madison into the steel cage a few times in a very hard fashion. Big DDT from Mickie despite the injured shoulder, and yep, that's enough for the pin at 0:36. Well, atleast this feud is FINALLY over now. You'd think you would give more offense to Madison though considering she's squashed pretty much the entire Knockouts roster aside from Mickie on Impact over the last few months, so Mickie squashing her in 30 seconds just makes the ENTIRE division look like complete and utter shit besides her. Whatever, no one really cares do they? DUD


Backstage Christy Hemme interviews Matt Morgan before his match with Hernandez.


Samoa Joe vs. Pope D'Angelo Dinero

Let's see if these two can pick up the slack from that mediocre first hour. Pope tries to climb out to start but Joe drags him down and lays in some right hands. Pope taunts the crowd and gets a mudhole stomped in him for his troubles. Nice spinning enziguri kick from Joe in the corner. Pope lays in open-palm slaps to Joe's stomach, which can't be very good strategy because all he's hitting is fat. Pope tries to climb the cage again but gets knocked off. Joe gives him the facewash boots in the corner but Pope throws the ref in the way before the final blow. Chinlock from Pope, that'll get the crowd fired up. As if God is mocking me, the crowd actually does start to rally behind Joe, who then locks in a chinlock of his own. Pope fights it off and hits a lariat for a two count. Snap powerslam from Joe. Slapfest ensues and Joe hits an inverted atomic drop and a back senton for a near fall. Big leg lariat off the second rope from Joe for another near fall, which is damn impressive for a man Joe's size. Joe hits the Muscle Buster and goes for the pin, but Pope gets his foot on the rope at two. Pope gets his trunks pulled down a bit, because goodness knows what this match needs is obviously homoerotic comedy! Big elbow drop off the top only gets a ONE count on Joe though as Joe is fired up now. Codebreaker from Pope gets another close two count. Joe catches Pope and just slams him into the cage and then gives him a second Muscle Buster before locking in the Coquina Clutch and submitting Pope at 10:20. Now this is more like it, pretty good match between these two and probably the best they've had together yet. It could have definitely used a few more minutes, but this was a fine way to (hopefully) blow off this feud. **¾


Backstage Mexican America or whatever their silly name is bickers in Spanish with Christy Hemme. I guess this is your pre-match interview for Hernandez's match with Morgan.


Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez

Hopefully this will be better than that atrocious First Blood match they had last month. Just to remind us of how silly this whole feud is, the pre-match video package shows footage of heel Morgan last year breaking Hernandez' neck and insulting him. Well that certainly makes me want to cheer for him! Total brawl to start with nothing but punches and kicks. Anarquia holds Morgan's foot through one of the holes in the cage designed for the cameras and Hernandez splashes him into the cage. Hernandez locks on the dreaded NERVE HOLD! Uh oh, this is getting serious guys, can you FEEL the hatred?! Hernandez chokes Morgan with his towel for a bit and I'm not sure Morgan has gotten a single offensive move in here since the opening bell. We get out 347th wide shot of the arena, just to remind us yet again that there's actually a decent crowd here for a TNA show for once. Literally as soon as I type that, they go to ANOTHER wide shot roughly 5 seconds later. Wow, we get it guys, you got a good turnout tonight. Morgan hits a clothesline and he starts to either fire himself or he's in the midst of some serious constipation, I really can't tell from the look on Matt's face. Morgan tosses Hernandez into the cage a few times while the rest of Mexican America bickers on the outside. Back suplex from Morgan gets a two count. Holy shit, a WRESTLING move in a wrestling match? Who would of thunk it? "USA" chant starts up, even though Hernandez is from Texas. Hernandez comes off the top rope and eats the Carbon Footprint to give Morgan the win at 8:14. Well, it was better than their DUD last month, but only just barely. Hopefully this feud is over now and these two can move on to something, ANYTHING else. ¼*


After the match Sarita and Rosita get in the ring and cut a typical anti-USA heel promo, getting some decent heat. God damn Sarita is fine, I must say. I do like me some fiery Latinas. Velvet Sky makes the run-in though and all is right in Amerikah!


2/3 Falls "Ultra-Male Rules" Match
Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle

First Fall: Submission Only

Here we go, now THIS is the match that most of us have been waiting for. Angle stole the show last year at Lockdown with his incredible match against Mr. Anderson, so let's see if he can top last year's efforts tonight (doubtful). Huge pop for Angle, biggest of the night by far. Karen is ejected before the match starts, thankfully. Side headlock from Angle to start, and he follows it up with a snap suplex. Jarrett goes for the Figure Four early but Angle quickly gets to the ropes. Beautiful T-Bone suplex from Angle and he tries for the ankle lock, but Jeff fights it off. Jarrett tries a headlock but he gets locked into the ankle lock again, and again he fights it off. Enziguri from Jarrett and he applies the juji gatame armbar, but Angle counters back into the ankle lock and Jarrett taps out to give Angle the first fall at 4:54.

Second Fall: Pinfall Only

Jarrett is limping now from the ankle lock. Angle rolls through a cross-body block off the top and gets a near fall. The ref starts the count while both men are on the mat, again forgetting the stipulations of the match. Pace picks up here with some quick clotheslines and a big overhead belly-to-belly from Kurt for another near fall. Angle hits a pair of German suplexes but Jeff breaks up the third one. Angle avoids the Stroke and delivers the Angle Slam to Jarrett, but Jeff gets the shoulder up just barely at the count of two. Angle nearly botches the overhead belly to belly throw off the top, but quickly regains his composure and hits it for another near fall. Nasty ace crusher from Angle, but again Jarrett kicks out at two. Tenay tries to claim it's a new move, which is baffling considering all the years that he spent in WCW, commentating DDP matches. Jarrett rolls up Angle and hooks the tights for the pinfall and the second fall at 11:29.

Third Fall: Escape the Cage

Lot of confusion as to whether Jarrett actually got the pin or not. Doesn't help that it takes Borash forever to announce the second fall is over. Jarrett takes the upper hand here, catapulting Angle right into the cage, but Angle quickly comes back and hits the hat trick of Germans this time. He goes to walk out the front door, but thinks better of it and decides to come back for some more punishment for Jarrett, dropping the key into his trunks. Angle scrapes Jarrett's head across the cage and Jeff is busted open now. Both men climb to the top of the cage and Jarrett gives Angle a powerbomb off the top rope, where Angle lands NASTILY on his neck. That looked almost botched and Taz practically screamed, obviously legitimately concerned with Angle. That was a VICIOUS bump. Jarrett goes to climb to the top of the cage, but Angle runs up and gives him the Angle Slam off the top rope! Angle goes to climb out now (did you lose the key amongst your ball sweat?) but Gunner from Immortal runs out with a steel chair, holding Angle off from dropping down to the floor. Angle, being fucking insane, decides to relive last year and delivers the HUGE MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE! Just as crazy of a bump as the moonsault he did last year, and you knew he was going to bust that out at some point. Suddenly Scott Steiner runs down to ringside and runs off Gunner, which is awfully nice of him. Angle finds the key now apparently and unlocks the front door to walk out, but Karen Jarrett runs down to ringside and sprays something into Kurt's eyes. Nothing I hate more than run-ins in a blow-off feud-ending cage match. Kurt, being blinded, clotheslines the referee. Uh oh, I smell a fishy ending coming. Jarrett tries to crawl out, but Kurt grabs him by the ankle and locks in the ankle lock! Karen slides a guitar into the ring though and Jeff smashes it over Kurt's head! Jeff takes far too long to try and escape though, and by the time he tries Angle locks on the Ankle lock again. Karen smashes the steel cage door into Angle's face though, and Jarrett crawls out to win the third fall and the match at 22:37. Well, that certainly wasn't the finish anyone was expecting. This was thought to be the blow-off match in the feud so you'd think Angle would triumphantly win, but I guess not. It was obvious they were trying to replicate the Angle-Anderson match from last year's show, and they did borrow one of the big spots from that match, but it was well executed and by far the best thing on this show so far. Questionable ending aside, this was a great match. ****


TNA World Title Match
Sting © vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

Strange that this would go on before the Lethal Lockdown match, but I'm guessing that means we're going to end the show on some crazy spot in that match. Anderson talks trash to both RVD and Sting to start and gets knocked around a bit between the two. Seriously, HOW IS THIS GUY SUPPOSED TO BE A FACE? This is pure heel shtick here. Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Lock but RVD breaks it up with a roundhouse kick. Standing moonsault gets a quick near fall for Van Dam. Anderson goes for the Mic Check on Sting but it's blocked. Sting manages to apply the Scorpion Death Lock to BOTH RVD and Anderson at the same time, which is quite the nifty visual and something I don't think I've ever seen out of the Stinger. This match is already longer than the Victory Road main event by the way. Not to be outdone, Anderson gives both Sting and RVD a double Mic Check, but he can't get the three count on either man. RVD hits the Five Star on Anderson, but Sting breaks the cover up before it even begins. Suddenly Immortal's music hits and Hulk Hogan walks down to ringside with the most clearly gimmicked steel pipe I've ever seen. Hogan even stupidly bangs it against the stairs to "show how real it is" and it barely makes a sound. He hands the pipe through one of the camera holes in the cage to RVD. Oh great, the heel turn everyone was expecting is about to happen for someone. RVD acts like he's going to use the pipe but just throws it away defiantly (or stupidly), so Anderson grabs the pipe and takes out RVD, saying to Hogan "That wasn't for you, it was for me!". Sting hits him with the Scorpion Death Lock though and gets the anti-climactic pin to retain at 7:57. I know Sting is limited with what he can do, but you couldn't have cut out that useless 8 man tag earlier in the show to add a few minutes to this? There was some decent stuff in here with some unique three-man variations on finishers, but Hogan coming out accomplished absolutely nothing, especially since no one took his help and turned. Just another case of Hogan stealing the spotlight from the actual workers for no particular reason whatsoever. **

Lethal Lockdown Match
Christopher Daniels/Kazarian/Robert Roode/James Storm vs. Ric Flair/Matt Hardy/Abyss/Bully Ray

This has been a bit of a mess of a show apart from the 2/3 falls match, so hopefully this will cap the night off in a positive manner. All the fans are expecting here is a fun hardcore match, so let's see if they can deliver it. I'll go ahead and make a pre-match prediction that Daniels will do some insane spot to finish the match. Kaz and Abyss start us off. Kaz avoids an early choke slam attempt but eats a big boot instead. Big hurricanrana from Kaz and he dropkicks Abyss into the cage. Matt Hardy is the next man in, but he eats a series of kicks and a springboard legdrop from Kaz immediately. He goes for the Omori Driver but Hardy escapes and locks his new guillotine submission finisher (called the "Ice Pick") onto Kaz while Abyss stomps away at his back. Side Effect from Matt and Kaz is just dead here. Daniels is the next man in and he cleans house on Immortal. Daniels hits the Best Moonsault Ever and stomps away on Abyss, looking fired up in his return to TNA PPV. Next man in is the Nature Boy, and the countdown to his inevitable bladejob begins. He slaps away at Daniels in the corner and then cheap shots him with a low blow. Hardy hits a nice bulldog on Daniels while Flair and Abyss double-team Kaz, mocking Beer Money on the outside while they do it. James Storm is the next man in and he spits beer into the face of Abyss and then gives him a Codebreaker. He hits a lung-blower on Hardy and then smashes his beer bottle over the head of Ric Flair! And the Ric Flair bladejob countdown is over, ending somewhere along 2-3 minutes after he entered the match. Perhaps a new record? Storm goes to town on Flair in the corner with chops and punches. Flair does the Flair Flop and gets his pants pulled down and spanked, just to cement how far one of the greatest wrestlers ever has fallen. Bully Ray is the next in and he cleans house on the Fortune members, being the fresh man. Immortal spends the rest of the period beating down on Fortune until the final man Robert Roode enters the cage. Beer Money hit a double suplex on Ray as the weapons-filled cage top is lowered as Lethal Lockdown "officially" begins. Everyone immediately grabs weapons, which consists entirely of trash cans and kendo sticks, and starts beating the piss out of each other with them for a bit. Daniels and Matt Hardy both make their way out of the cage and climb up to the top of the cage as the Cincinnati crowd rises to see what happens next. Daniels sets up for the Angel's Wings but Hardy backdrops him and Daniels nearly falls off the top of the cage by accident. Twist of Hate from Matt on the top of the cage lays Daniels out while below the chaotic weapons-smashing continues. Ray hits a big sideslam on Storm for a two count while Hardy get's dropkicked off the side of the cage. Flair completely botches a spinebuster attempt from Roode while Daniels flies off the top of the cage with a cross-body, wiping out Abyss and Matt Hardy! Cool spot and all, but we saw the same thing for free on Impact when Daniels made his return. Back inside the ring Roode locks Flair into the Figure Four, but Ray breaks it up with a phoenix splash! Just kidding, he smashes a trash can over his head. Ray goes to town with the kendo stick, hitting everything around him that moves. Ray goes to smash the kendo stick over Daniels saying "This is for AJ!" and as soon as he says that AJ Styles music hits and this arena EXPLODES! AJ Styles makes his return, running down to the ring and totally destroying Bully Ray while the crowd eats it all up. Flair gets put into a Fujiwara Armbar from Storm and that's enough for Storm to submit and give Fortune the win at 22:51! This was about as good as could be expected out of this type of match. It was sloppy at times and very chaotic, but it was never boring and guys like Daniels worked very hard out there to try and make this better than it probably should have been. Styles return was a great moment as well, and the right team went over, so all in all a quality main event here to end the show. ***¼

Bottom Line: This was a rather disappointing show. For some reason or another, a lot of us expected this to be one of the better TNA PPVs in awhile, and while Jarrett vs. Angle did end up delivering, not much else here did. Morgan and Hernandez had another painfully horrid match, Mickie James inadvertantly single-handedly buried the entire Knockouts division in 30 seconds, and the four-way tag match really had no business being on PPV. Still, not everything was bad here. Jarrett and Angle had probably the best TNA match of the year thus far, the opener Xscape match wasn't half bad, Pope and Joe had a fairly good match, and the Lethal Lockdown was about as good as could have been expected. Two decent matches, one good one, and one great one is enough to outweigh the bad here though, so we'll still go with the Thumbs Up despite being a bit of a letdown overall as a show.


Score: 6/10

WWE Friday Night Smackdown 4/15/11 --- Edge Says Goodbye

WWE Friday Night Smackdown 4/15/11
April 15th, 2011
Time Union Center, Albany, New York
Attendance: ???

And so we've arrived at a very somber and emotional night in the WWE, only a few days removed from the shocking (legit) announcement by Edge that he has to retire for health reasons. Tonight Edge will relinquish his World Heavyweight Championship and say one last goodbye to the fans and business he's loved his entire life. My expectations wrestling-wise for this show are slim, which is fine, because this really is all about Edge tonight. Let's get started.


Your hosts are Michael Cole, Booker T, and Josh Matthews


We open the show with Alberto Del Rio coming out to the ring to some decent heat, doing his usual shtick about how the world title is his "destiny" and all that jazz. He initially puts over Edge, talking about the achievements he accomplished in the business and the respect he's earned over the years. He quickly returns back to himself though, and demands Edge come out to present him with the World Heavyweight title. Instead we get Teddy Long, who sets up a 20 man battle royal for later tonight to decide who will face Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight title in the ladder match at Extreme Rules.


Kofi Kingston vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Quite the clash of styles here, but sometimes that results in an entertaining match. The rest of The Corre is at ringside on commentary, as if anyone cares. Kofi is decked out in all green. Preparing for 4/20 a bit early this year Kofi? Big Zeke shows off the power early on, tossing Kofi around at will like a ragdoll. The Corre are all bickering at ringside, so I guess they're teasing a break up. This would be what, the 2nd or 3rd splintering of the original Nexus members? The action spills to the outside and Big Zeke tosses Kofi right onto all 3 members of The Corre. So wait, are they still stablemates or what? Wade Barrett tries entering the ring which distracts Kofi long enough for Zeke to give him a big side-slam for the pin at 2:24. After the match Big Zeke says he's going to win the Battle Royal tonight. I certainly hope not. They can't seem to make up their mind whether they want to push Jackson or not, but disposing of Kofi that quickly certainly makes him look dominant. What now for Kofi? ¼*


Elsewhere we catch up on Michelle McCool and Layla in "Couples Counseling", bickering like a couple of hens. Does anybody actually care about this? McCool walks off within minutes. Poor adorable Layla.


Back in the ring a hooded and masked Cody Rhodes has a mic and cuts a promo on Rey Mysterio. He says he hoped to feel vindicated after his victory at Wrestlemania, but he feels nothing. He says he's going to scar Mysterio so that children are horrified at the sight of him. Rey's music hits and he runs to the ring and delivers a 619 on Cody. Decent promo from Rhodes.


Another creepy Awesome Kong promo with her flicking off a barbie doll's head. Looking forward to her debut big-time.


Rey Mysterio vs. Drew McIntyre

It's kind of amusing just how much larger Drew is than Rey. And he's not even that big. Big powerslam and a backbreaker from Drew get him a pair of early near falls. Snap suplex gets Drew another two count while Booker T puts him over on commentary. Rey gets a headscissors and tries for the 619 but Cody avoids it. Rey dropkicks him outside to the floor and then tries for a headscissors out of the ring, but Drew holds onto Mysterio and slams him head-first into the guard barrier. Quick commercial break and when we return both men trade waistlocks until Drew is sent outside to the floor once again. McIntyre gets draped over the second rope and Rey hits a springboard legdrop for a near fall of his own. Drew tries working an armbar but gets thrown shoulder-first into the steel post. Seated senton from Rey and he hits a beautiful headscissors takedown and a springboard cross-body block for a close two count. Big boot from Drew nearly takes Rey's head off, but he gets the shoulder up at two. Rey hits a big tornado DDT, but Drew gets his foot on the ropes at two. This is really starting to pick up now. Stiff clothesline by Drew from his knees. He tries another one but Rey counters and Drew gets set up on the second rope long enough for Mysterio to hit the 619 and then a big splash off the top rope for the win at 9:20 (shown). This was damn good, Drew has been really motivated over the last few months and Rey almost looked like the 2003 version of himself here, bumping his ass off. Very good television match. ***


Backstage we see Edge getting a standing ovation and handshakes all around from the boys on his way to the ring for his farewell speech next. HUGE pop for Edge here and tons of signs for the Rated R Superstar. Tony Chimel must be getting misty-eyed that this could be the last time his voice ever cracks like a prepubescent twelve year old while announcing Edge as the "Rated R SOOOOOOperstar". Edge breaks kayfabe immediately in the promo by referring to "last night on RAW", as Smackdown is always taped the Tuesday after RAW. You're breaking the walls of kayfabe man! Edge, being a true lover of this business, HAS to do his entrance one more time though to feel the goosebumps one more time. I'm not going to recap every little thing Edge says here, but suffice to say it's a fitting and touching farewell from Edge expressing how much this business and the fans have meant to him and how honored he's felt to be able to live his dream for the last 18 years. He points out his mom in the front row here tonight and thanks her for all of her support and the crowd actually starts a "Thank You Mom!" chant, which is cute. He says Albany is a special place to him because this is the city he won his first World title in back in January of 2006. He wraps things up with one last thank you and lays the World Heavyweight Championship down in the center of the ring and gives his mother a hug before heading to the back and saying goodbye to the wrestling business (atleast for now). Another great and touching speech from Edge just like on RAW, and I'm glad they gave him some more time to do this on Smackdown, the show he spent most of his career on.


Backstage Rosa Mendes says something in Spanish to Edge, which he doesn't understand. Alberto Del Rio interrupts and offers Edge his hand, but a cocky grin and a wink seems to ruin any chance of a handshake and Edge walks off.


Kelly Kelly vs. Layla

McCool is on commentary, as usual. She talks about how couples counseling is just a waste of their time, kind of like this match. Kelly hits a boot and locks in her bizarre headscissors submission over the top rope. She slams Layla to the outside floor and then starts pounding her head into the mat. Layla nearly gets counted out but Michelle tosses her back into the ring and Kelly just rolls her up for the 3 count at 2:05. After the match McCool shoves Layla down in the ring. Barely even a wrestling match here, total DUD.


World Heavyweight Title #1 Contender's Battle Royal Match
(Featuring Christian, Kane, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Big Show, JTG, Chris Masters, Yoshi Tatsu, Cody Rhodes, Brodus Clay, Trent Baretta, Chavo Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, and Curt Hawkins)

Never much of a Battle Royal fan, but let's do this. JTG is the first one out, big shocker. Trent Baretta tries to eliminate the Big Show and I almost mark out with the power of a thousand suns at the thought of it, but Show quickly tosses him over and out. Show hits the knockout shot on Slater and eliminates him next. He runs to clothesline Big Zeke out, but in the process he eliminates himself as well and both big men are out, much to Del Rio's delight at ringside. We take a commercial break and when we return Cody Rhodes is stomping away at Rey Mysterio in the corner. Cole cheers on Jack Swagger, despite the fact that he turned on him on RAW. Damnit Cole, you can't even get your own angles right? Rey eliminates both Rhodes and Hawkins in quick succession. Big Brodus Clay eliminates McIntyre next and then tosses Chavo Guerrero out next. Kane and Clay have a showdown in the middle of the ring and Kane tries for the chokeslam, but Clay fights it off. He tries to eliminate Kane but gets tossed out himself instead as we take yet another commercial break. Kofi tries to skin the cat but Wade Barrett eliminates him. Somehow Yoshi Tatsu is still in this thing, which is pretty neat. Christian eliminates Reks next and then eats a series of kicks from Tatsu before tossing him out next as well. Kane tries to chokeslam both Barrett and Gabriel, but they eliminate the Big Red Machine instead. Masters gets booted out next by Barrett, and Gabriel sneaks up behind his Corre stablemate and tosses him out next to a nice pop. Gabriel has got something special about him, and I hope this is hinting towards a break-up of the Corre and a Barrett vs. Gabriel feud with Justin playing the babyface role, that's something I'd actually want to watch. Final four is Christian, Mysterio, Swagger, and Gabriel. The heels and babyfaces partner up of course and Gabriel hits a sweet roundhouse kick on Rey. Rey misses the 619 and Gabriel tries to powerbomb him, but Rey counters and eliminates Justin instead. Rey sets up Swagger for the 619 and Michael Cole runs to protect Swagger, taking the 619 instead of Swagger, allowing him to eliminate Rey and bring us down to just Swagger and Christian. I'm sure you can guess who wins from here. Both men jockey on the apron for a bit and Christian goes for that swing kick ofhis, but Swagger grabs the ankle and applies the ankle lock! Christians rolls out of it and nearlyt gets thrown over the top but he hangs on. Del Rio tries to pull Christian off from the apron but Christian kicks him off and then back drops Swagger to eliminate him and win the battle royal and title shot at 15:33 (shown). I'm not usually one to enjoy battle royals, but this one actually had a pretty good flow to it and things really picked up once it got down to the final 6 or so men. Good stuff for a battle royal. **


After the match Edge comes down to the ring and congratulates Christian as they hug while Del Rio snarls like an angry cat while he stands on top of the commentator's table. Right around here may or may not be where the US broadcast cuts off, but lucky for me I've got the entire feed of the show so we get to see the touching ceremony after the show went off the air. Christian grabs a mic and both he and Edge do one last "Five Second Pose" for the benefit of those with flash photography. Awesome little moment and I'd have marked out if I were in attendance. The entire Smackdown locker room comes out afterwards to the stage and gives Edge one last standing ovation. Big Show, Chavo Guerrero and Rey Mysterio hit the ring and give Edge a farewell hug. Suddenly Triple H's music hits and The Game hits the ring to give Edge a hug of his own. Edge is really emotional here and you can see some tears in his eyes. The ring clears out and everyone heads to the back so Edge grabs the mic one more time and says what the boys just did for him there was the ultimate sign of respect, as it appears the standing ovation and Triple H coming out was just as much of a surprise to Edge as it is to the fans. Edge puts over most of the boys in the back as well as all of the ring and camera crews. Edge totally breaks kayfabe here, even thanking the writers backstage like Brian Gewirtz and Michael PS Hayes. Big "Hall of Fame!" chant starts up. Finally Edge thanks Christian, who's been his best friend for the last 27 years. He says he hopes any Edgeheads out there will throw their support behind Christian now as well. He says he'll always be a part of the WWE and says this probably won't be the last time we see him, but he's going to take a long break and just be with his dogs. He says one last farewell and the crowd gives him one last standing ovation as the show ends. This was probably an even more touching speech than the one earlier in the show, and if it doesn't make the US broadcast it is WELL worth your time to seek this segment out on YouTube.

Bottom Line: I came in expecting nothing more than a good farewell to Edge, but instead we got some good wrestling to go along with it as well. You really can't ask for much more than that, can you? Rey Mysterio and Drew McIntyre had a solid match earlier in the show, the main event battle royal was actually pretty decent, and Christian finally gets a PPV title shot, something I personally have been waiting for to happen for a very long time. Add in the touching farewell to Edge, the REAL farewell, and this was an excellent episode of Smackdown and gets the easy Thumbs Up.


Score: 7.5/10

WWE RAW 4/11/11 --- Edge Retires?!

WWE RAW 4/11/11
April 11th, 2011
Webster Bank Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 9,000 +/-?

We're one week removed from the colossal announcement that The Rock and John Cena will face off at Wrestlemania XXVIII as RAW stops into the Webster Bank Arena tonight. We're only a few weeks away from the Extreme Rules PPV, so tonight should primarily be focused around setting up matches for that event. How will John Cena occupy his time for one whole year? We'll have to wait and see tonight.


Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and Josh Matthews


We open the show with Michael Cole being introduced as an "award winning broadcast journalist" and the "only undefeated man in the WWE". This Cole shit continues to drag on weeks after it should have been blown off at Wrestlemania. King teases going after him on his way to his Cole Mine, but nothing comes of it.


John Cena's music hits and it's time for our opening promo is my guess. He pumps up the crowd a bit, hyping up his match next year with The Rock. The question of course though is, what the hell does he do until then? Cena's new red gear just looks weird on him, I'm too used to the purple and gold. Cena promises that the match next year with The Rock will be for the WWE title, so I guess that's how they plan on using Cena for the next 12 months, chasing the title again. Because we haven't seen THAT before you know. Cena issues a challenge to The Miz but as soon as he does Randy Orton's music hits instead and the Viper makes his way down to the ring. Orton says none of Cena's grandstanding changes the fact that he lost to The Miz at Wrestlemania, and he tells him to stand aside so he can get a title shot. Before Cena can respond though, John Morrison's music hits and he makes his way down to the ring! What the shit? Everyone was/is expecting Morrison to do absolutely nothing following his supposed incident with Trish at Wrestlemania, but here he is now on RAW in the ring with Cena and Orton. Morrison grabs the mic and says that "we've all seen this show before" in reference to Cena and Orton, and says he wants a shot at The Miz's title as well. Of course before this can be responded to, Vickie Guerrero's shrill voice rings out as she and Dolph Ziggler come down to the ring and demand a title shot of their own. Spoiling what until now was a pretty awesome foursome in the ring, out comes R-Truth, who I guess is still employed. Truth wants a title shot because he's never gotten a one-on-one title match before on any show, which is just amusing. The lights flicker and it's ANONYMOUS GM TIME BABY! Cole does his usual shtick and announces that the GM has ordered a five man gauntlet match tonight with the winner getting a title shot against The Miz at Extreme Rules. Good opening segment to kick off the show, set up a fun-sounding main event for later tonight, and get the wheels in motion for Extreme Rules. Simple and effective, just the way I like it.


We get a little vignette of a dreadlocked black woman knocking the head off of a barbie doll, which is obviously a promo for the soon to debut Awesome Kong. Creepy promo and fans of female wrestling the world round are marking out, myself included.


WWE Diva's Title Match
Eve © vs. Brie Bella

Before the match starts Eve pulls out a magic marker and demands that Brie has an X written on her hand so they can tell who's who and they don't pull the old twin switcheroo. That's actually smart, shocking. Brie hits a forearm to the back of Eve's head to start and stomps away at her in the corner. Brie applies an abdominal stretch briefly but Eve fights out of it and hits a bulldog. Dropkick from Eve and the standing moonsault gets two. Eve and the ref argue for a bit which gives the Bellas long enough to make the twin switch, but the ref catches her. This distracts Eve long enough for Brie to hit a big facebuster for the pin and the title at 2:14. Brie Bella, Diva's champion? Hopefully this is just a stopgap until Kong shows up and destroys all of these women. The usual 2 minute filler here, as always. ¼*


Backstage Gail Kim and Natalya try to comfort Eve for her title loss, but Eve tells them both that she knows what the diva's locker room is "really" like and storms off angrily. Tell me they aren't turning Eve heel, please.


Sin Cara vs. Primo

Here we go now, Mistico, excuse me, SIN CARA, making his televised in-ring debut against (who else?) Primo Colon. This should be good, Primo being one of the few people that can actually work the style of match Cara does without looking like a fool. Lock-up to start and they go into your basic wristlock-armdrag lucha sequence. Big "Sin Cara!" chant starts up, which is great to hear, they've really managed to get Cara over just on hype alone. Cara flips right off of Primo's chest and dropkicks him to the outside floor. He follows him out with an awesome slingshot hurricanrana to the floor and then tosses Primo back into the ring. He waits too long and eats a dropkick from Primo though. Both men trade chops for a bit until Cara hits a springboard hurricanrana and then a headscissors, but he waits too long and Primo gets a cheap shot on him. He tries a powerbomb but Cara counters into a sunset flip driver for a near fall. Primo and Cara go to the top rope and Cara slips/gets thrown to the floor in what I'm pretty sure was a botched spot. No worry though because Cara slides right back in and maintains his balance this time, delivering the one-man Spanish Fly to Primo off the top rope for the win at 4:30! This was perfectly booked here, having Cara debut against someone he has experience with and who can work his style in Primo Colon and show off some of his flashy moves before getting the clean pin. Just an extended squash, but a fun and well executed one. **


The Corre come out to the ring, looking like the jobbiest bunch of jobbers to ever job despite having the IC and tag team titles with them. How sad is that? These guys are three of your main champions, and I can't even remember the last time they won a match that meant something (that includes title matches). Before Barrett can get far in his spiel about how he's better than the other members of the group, Gabriel grabs the mic and says he's the most talented one there, bragging about being a 3 time WWE champion, which is so sad and indicative of what a joke that division has become. Big Zeke and Slater both claim they've held up their end as well. Before this goes on very long though Santino's music hits, and he comes out with Mark Henry, Evan Bourne, and Daniel Bryan and claims that if they're the Corre, then this group is "The Apple". I see what you did there Santino. How sad is this, The Corre go from feuding with The Rock and John Cena last week to feuding with Santino and his merry band of jobbers (and a totally out of place Daniel Bryan) this week. Apparently the "Apple" stands for "Allied People Powered by Loathing Everything (you stand for)", whatever the fuck that means. I can dig Santino's comedy, but he's just that---comedy. Keep REAL wrestlers you're trying to push (like Bryan and The Corre members) as far away from him as possible, he does nothing for anyone. I guess this sets up an eight man tag, right now.


Wade Barrett/Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater/Ezekiel Jackson vs. Santino Marella/Daniel Bryan/Evan Bourne/Mark Henry

We return from commercial and join this match already in progress. Bryan is being isolated in The Corre's corner, getting worked over behind the refs back and having Big Zeke overpower him for a bit. The isolation continues for a bit until Bryan fights off Heath Slater and gets the hot tag to Santino, who cleans house on Slater and knocks Gabriel off the apron. Hip-toss and diving headbutt from Santino gets two, and things break down from here as Zeke and Henry battle over who's the biggest black guy on the roster and Evan Bourne hits a flying knee off the top on Barrett. Bryan hits a tope suicida on Barrett back on the outside while Santino sets up for The Cobra, but Gabriel hits him from behind which gives Slater the chance to give him a reverse DDT for the win at 3:33 (shown). I am SHOCKED that The Corre actually got a damn win for once here. Hopefully this "APPLE" stable is just a one-time thing , because it's a total waste of Bryan (and to a lesser extent Bourne). Finish was hot though. *¼


Boomer Sooner blares out over the speakers and good ol' Jim Ross makes his way down to the ring while Michael Cole verbally berates him from inside his Cole Mine. Ross just walks right up to Cole's little cage and starts shaking the damn thing. Holy shit, when did Ross become a tough guy? Jack Swagger runs down to make the save and The King gets up from the announcer's table to fight him off while a referee holds JR and Cole apart. This whole thing had better end with Cole getting shitcanned and Ross being given the Play by Play spot back on RAW. Cole can be the heel commentator on Smackdown and Swagger's manager, just get him out of the booth as the play-by-play man, for the love of God.


Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

Apparently if Lawler wins here he gets a rematch with Cole at Extreme Rules and gets to pick the stipulation. PLEASE let that be the blow-off guys. JR is in King's corner, which is fun to see, but a waste of a great talent. Why exactly couldn't JR be at the booth right now instead of just having Josh Matthews sit there and not commentate this match? No, seriously, he doesn't say a word while Cole and JR shout advice from ringside. Swagger stomps away at King in the corner while Cole screams across the ring as Ross. Swagger applies the ankle lock but King gets the rope break while Cole shouts "MOMMY MOMMY!" for some reason. Swagger tries a wristlock (which almost looks like a chimora) while Cole and JR continue to argue outside the ring, as more focus seems to be on them the match in the ring. Not that I'm complaining. Cole distracts King so JR comes over and throws him off the apron, allowing King to roll up Swagger for the win at 5:15. After the match King challenges Cole to a tag match at Extreme Rules pitting King and JR against Cole and his "former friend" Swagger. O..kay? I swear if Swagger turns and Cole wins again, I'm going to flip. And putting Jim Ross in a MATCH? You take him off TV as an announcer because he's "too old", but he's not too old to get in the ring? Ugh. This got five minutes, which is about five minutes more than it needed. ¼*


Backstage John Cena and Edge shake hands as Edge makes his way out to the ring. All night they've been teasing that Edge might announce his retirement tonight, and apparently his big announcement is up next. After a commercial break we return as Edge makes his way out to the ring and Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler join Josh Matthews at ringside (hooray!). Edge says to bear with him as he might ramble here. He says that anyone who's ever gotten in the ring knows how easy it is to get hurt. He brings up his neck injury from eight years ago and all of the rehab he had to do for it. He says he's been in a lot of pain and has been losing feeling in his arms. He made it through Wrestlemania but the WWE made him take some more tests and apparently the MRIs show that Edge has to retire. If this is legit, this is awful, awful news. I doubt it's legit though. Crowd buys into it though and gives him a big standing ovation as Edge gets misty-eyed and a "Thank You Edge!" chant starts up. He says that he felt like he was letting the fans and the boys down by doing this, but that his best friend Christian reminded him of all he's accomplished. He tells the Wrestlemania 6 Sky Dome story, which is always nice to hear and says he couldn't dream of a better way to go out than as World champion after winning at Wrestlemania. He jokes about his past as a pseudo-vampire in the Brood (which gets a nice little mini-pop) and how his character and career changed over the years. He acknowledges JR at ringside who signed him initially and says if he had to go through it all again, he's do it in a heartbeat. Finally he thanks the fans and gets a standing ovation. I keep expecting Alberto Del Rio's music to play to interrupt him here to confirm it's all an angle, but it never comes. Whether this was legit or not, this was a GREAT promo from Edge and a touching moment. Let the "Is Edge really retiring?!" chaos begin.


Backstage Edge gets a standing ovation and hugs from all of the boys in the back, heels and faces alike. More touching stuff, and if this is all an angle, they've done a phenomenal job of putting it over as legit. If it really is legit, man, what a damn shame. I'll rant on it later. Just checked some of the wrestling news sites and apparently this IS legit, atleast according to mysterious backstage sources. Holy shit man, this came out of nowhere and is like a shot to the heart. Edge gave this business as much as he possibly could during his career and I've never seen someone with so much passion for his work as Edge has, or I guess had. I'm still in shock right now, so you'll have to excuse me here. I'll post something on Edge's career later when more information becomes available.


The Miz comes out with Alex Riley and joins JR, King, and Matthews at the commentary table for our main event match. Damn, it's only 10:30, are we really getting a 30 minute long main event? Bring it on!


Five Man Gauntlet WWE Title Number One Contender's Match
Match #1
Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Orton and Ziggler start us off...hmmm, I wonder who's going to win here? Ziggler hits the Fame-Asser early on Orton and hammers away while Miz explains Alex Riley's role as his personal bitch, I mean assistant. Ziggler gets a bit of offense in until Orton goes into the Viper routine. Elevated DDT from the second rope, but the Nexus run out suddenly and distract Orton long enough for Ziggler to roll him up and get the upset pin at 2:47. Holy shit, did Orton just get pinned (semi) cleanly? What planet am I on right now? Nexus beats down Orton as we take a commercial break. ¼*


Match #2
Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth

Very glad they got Orton out of there quickly, the last thing we need is another Orton title run. R-Truth is out next. Ziggler dominates to start, driving an elbow into Truth's heart for a two count early. Ziggler tries working a chinlock but Truth fights him off. Both men trade knees but the crowd seems really deflated since the big Edge announcement. Ziggler misses a splash into the corner and Truth gives him a gourdbuster for a two count. Neckbreaker gets Ziggler a near fall as well. Truth hits a reverse STO on Ziggler, and that's enough for the clean pin at 4:28. From "World champion" to jobbing clean to R-Truth within a few months, my how Ziggler has fallen. *


Match #3
R-Truth vs. John Morrison

Morrison is out next. I don't hear a bell when we return from commercial so I guess we're joining this already in progress. Both men trade sunset flips for a series of near falls, which is kind of stupid considering the match JUST started and that's a sequence you should save for later on in a match, when you've actually been beat up enough to be down for several near-falls. Morrison pancakes Truth and hits a spinning leg drop for another near fall. Chinlock applied from JoMo and that's not going to get this crowd into it. Morrison clotheslines Truth out of the ring and both men end up giving each other clotheslines wiping both men out as the ref applies the count. Both men make it back in at 9 though and Morrison hits a big leg lariat. Ross has been on the mic for only about 20 minutes and he's already put over the talent better than Cole has in months. Truth hits his unique suplex-stunner move, but Morrison gets the shoulder up at two. Springboard kick from Morrison sets up the Starship Pain, but Truth moves out of the way at the last moment and hits the reverse STO on Morrison for the clean pin at 4:52 (shown). What the HELL is going on right now? R-Truth just pinned two upper midcarders clean in the span of ten minutes, did someone put acid in my spam again? Am I hallucinating? Not a bad mini-match either. *¾


Match #4
R-Truth vs. John Cena

Cena hits a gut-wrench suplex for a quick near fall as huge dueling "Let's Go Cena!" "Cena sucks!" chants start up, which The Miz acknowledges. I'm still in utter shock that R-Truth has made it this far. Nice snap suplex from Cena gets another two count. Back suplex gets him another two. Cena looks fired up, he's going suplex-crazy. Powerslam gets Cena yet another near fall and it's been all Cena so far here as you can tell. Another snap suplex and another near fall for John. Cena hits his top-rope legdrop, but AGAIN Truth kicks out at two. If Cena were a heel, this crowd would be rabidly behind Truth at this point. As it is he's still getting some decent support from the fans. Finally Truth gets some offense in with a big right hand and both men collapse. Big hip-toss from Truth he (somewhat) hits that spinning forearm of his for a two count of his own. Crowd is hot now, unlike the previous matches in this gauntlet, and it's sure helping matters. Truth goes for the reverse STO that put away both Morrison and Ziggler, but Cena counters and hits a pair of running shoulderblocks followed by an atomic slam. Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and then goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Miz and Riley hit the ring and attack both Cena and Truth, causing the ref to throw out the match as a double DQ at 5:37 (shown). This was shockingly good until the no-finish as the crowd was red hot for both men and for the first time ever people were buying R Truth as a legit threat to a main eventer like John Cena. They need to do something with R-Truth and capitalize on the momentum he just gained here, NOW. **


After the match Miz gets on the mic and gloats about how both men lost and neither man gets a title shot. The lights flicker though and the anonymous GM sends another e-mail, which reads that there are now TWO number one contender's for Miz's title, and that both John Cena and R-Truth will face The Miz at Extreme Rules for the WWE title. R-Truth, in a title match on a PPV? Am I dreaming? Where am I? Who's hand is that? Why are there so many bright lights...


Cena and R-Truth shake hands to end the show, but they get a bit over zealous with their pats on the back and have a stare-off.

Bottom Line: Well this was an interesting show. While there wasn't anything wrestling-wise here you need to go out of your way to watch, we did get plenty of in-ring time and the entire show built up to the Extreme Rules show very well, setting up the main event with a shocking R-Truth inclusion. The big news of course from this show though is Edge's big retirement announcement, which is a shocker to say the least. It's hard to say where the WWE goes from here, but suffice to say they've lost an incredibly valuable and important member of their roster, and another main eventer during a time when they're still desperately trying to build new ones. Very touching goodbye from Edge though, and you should obviously seek that out. Sin Cara also made his in-ring debut in a fun little squash match, so all-in-all tonight's show was an extremely entertaining one for the most part, despite a few wasted segments. Thumbs Up.


Score: 7/10

WWE Friday Night Smackdown 4/8/11

WWE Friday Night Smackdown 4/8/11
April 8th, 2011
Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: ???

Just a quick note, I did not review last week's episode of Smackdown for those who have asked about it. The show was 90% video packages and highlights, with maybe about 15 minutes of newly filmed content, which equaled about two squash matches and less than 5 minutes of wrestling. No need to review a highlight show and nothing major happened anyways.


We're five days removed from Wrestlemania XXVII and only three days removed from the colossal announcement that the main event of next year's Wrestlemania will see the return of The Rock against John Cena in The Rock's return to wrestling after a seven (or eight by the time Wrestlemania rolls around) year hiatus. Can Smackdown live up to the hype of this week's RAW? How will Alberto Del Rio react to his loss to Edge at Wrestlemania? Who will be Edge's next challenger? And where does Christian fall into all of this? All of that and more on tonight's Smackdown. Let's get to it.


Your hosts are Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, and Booker T


We open the show with Alberto Del Rio coming out to the ring. Oh Christ Cole is back on commentary again. He's atleast bearable on Smackdown where he can just heel it up and not have to switch gears into being the play-by-play man every five minutes. Del Rio gets on the mic and tells us that destiny can be delayed, but not stopped. He gripes about his loss to Edge and the fact that he and Christian destroyed his Rolls Royce after the match. Before he can get much further though Edge's music hits and the World Heavyweight Champion comes out on the back of a tow truck, with Del Rio's destroyed Rolls Royce in tow behind him. He tells Del Rio that a little TLC should fix his car right up, so Edge pulls out a can of yellow spray paint and sprays something on the hood that I can't quite make out. Del Rio demands a rematch but Edge declines, saying there are many other more deserving people ahead of him, such as Christian, who steps out of the driver's seat of the tow truck to a nice pop. Edge reminds Del Rio that Christian has beaten him twice already before teasing coming down to the ring and getting into it Del Rio right then and there. Teddy Long's music hits of course though and the Smackdown GM comes out to the ramp with a mic and sets up a Number One contender's match tonight between Del Rio and Christian, with the winner going on to face Edge at Extreme Rules in a LADDER MATCH! Could it be? Could Christian's main event run FINALLY be upon us?


2/3 Falls Match
Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett/Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater/Ezekiel Jackson

Oh joy, the rematch nobody was dying for. The Corre has about as much credibility as the nWo B-Team at this point, so there's really no excuse for them not to go over in this match here. No clue why it's 2/3 falls though. Gabriel and Santino start us off with some silly kicking and punching. Slater tags in and stomps away at Santino in the corner. Kane and Big Show take turns beating down Slater. Kofi tags in and teases going for the Trouble in Paradise as we cut to commercial. When we return Kane is beating down Barrett in the corner. Big Zeke tags in for a bit to bring the upper hand back to his team before the rest of The Corre starts trading frequent tags, isolating Kane in their corner. Kofi and Gabriel tag in and Kingston flies off the top with a big cross-body that gets the 3 count on Gabriel for the first fall at 5:30 (shown). After a commercial break we return to see Slater slamming Santino for a quick two count. Santino starts the comeback and hits a few hip-tosses and a headbutt before setting up for The Cobra. Barrett tags in though and boots him and then gives him the Waste Land for the pin to tie it up at one fall apiece at 7:25 (shown). Santino is isolated in The Corre's corner for a few minutes until finally he gets the hot tag to Kane, who cleans house on Wade Barrett with a big sideslam for a near fall. Kane hits the flying clothesline off the top but Big Zeke breaks the count up and things completely fall apart from here as everyone begins brawling in and around the ring. Kane tries for the choke slam on Barrett but the rest of The Corre hit the ring and attack Kane...and the ref calls for the bell for one of the absolute lamest DQs I've ever seen in my life, awarding the match 2 falls to 1 to Kane's team at 11:11 (shown). After the match Big Show and company completely destroy The Corre in the ring, just to make sure they're nice and buried. Somehow this got over 10 minutes, and The Corre's burial continues. There is NO EXCUSE for them not going over here, especially after the loss at 'Mania. Bad match and bad booking. ¾*


Cody Rhodes vs. Trent Bareta

Trent Bareta sighting! One of these days the WWE will figure out what to do with this guy, him and Zach Ryder. As you may have guessed, this is just a glorified squash match. Cody hits a few forearms before Trent actually gets some offense in with a nice missile dropkick that gets him a quick two count. Cody hits a big Russian leg sweep and then works him over in the corner for a bit. Rhodes finishes him off with the Cross Rhodes at 1:31. After the match Cody continues the beatdown on Trent until Rey Mysterio comes out and makes the save. So I guess that feud is continuing, which is good news in my book. Typical squash match, but hey, Trent actually got some offense in! That has to count for something, right? ¼*


Since this wouldn't be Smackdown without an excessively long video package of something that happened 3 days ago on RAW, we get to see the entire Rock-Cena segment that closed RAW, in it's entirety. I get showing highlights, but showing the ENTIRE segment is a waste of time.


Backstage Edge and Christian are together in the locker room, where Edge tells Christian that he hopes he wins tonight so they can wrestle at Extreme Rules, and that Christian deserves the title shot (which, damnit, he does). They joke around a bit about the possibility of facing each other later and Edge wishes him good luck and takes off. The camera lingers on Christian though as he stares intently at Edge's World title until Edge comes back in to grab it. Yeah, you definitely forgot something champ.


Michelle McCool/Layla vs. Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix

Well, atleast Kelly looks good as usual. Michelle and Beth start us off and Beth quickly dominates, slamming McCool around at will and hitting a backbreaker for a quick two count. Layla tags in and her and McCool argue a bit until McCool shoves Layla right into Beth Phoenix, who slams her on top of the turnbuckle and tags Kelly in, who locks in her weird semi-Tarantula submission in the ropes before hitting a cross-body off the top that gets a close two count. Facebuster from Kelly gets another near fall. Layla gets a few kicks in and goes to tag Michelle, who feigns an injury and falls of the apron, allowing Kelly to roll Layla up for the 3 count at 2:40. After the match LayCool argue all the way up the ramp. The LayCool break-up continues to be teased, and I'm still not sure who the hell thinks that is a good idea for either woman. Usual short Diva's filler. ¼*


After a quick commercial break we return to see Michael Cole in the ring. He introduces Jack Swagger and both men brag for a bit about Cole's DQ win at Wrestlemania against the King. Glad to see that Swagger push last year was so useful. They pat each other on the back some more and decide to celebrate with a victory lap around the ring, doing the Soaring Eagle run. The lights flicker suddenly though and Mistico---I mean Sin Cara's music hits. Nice pop for Cara as he sprints down to the ring and leaps into the ring straight from the floor in an impressive display of agility. Cara and Swagger stare off until Cara hits a handspring back elbow and a big headscissors takedown that sends Swagger to the floor. He follows him out with a twisting splash and he takes off, his impact having been made. Apparently Cara was so awesome on RAW that he was immediately told to scale back some of his trademark moves, which is why we got a twisting splash and a headscissors takedown instead of the usual crazy Mistico spots that not even Mysterio in his prime could pull off. Either way, he looked good again here tonight and the fans seem to have taken to him pretty quickly.


Backstage Layla walks up to McCool and hands her a piece of paper for a couples therapy appointment for the two of them next week. The only way I'll give a shit is if the therapist is DDP, otherwise, let's just move on.


World Heavyweight Championship Number One Contender's Match
Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Edge is our guest commentator for this match. These two have had some good matches over the last few weeks on Smackdown, pretty much saving the show from being a glorified 2 hour highlights show of RAW. Lock-up to start and Del Rio tries working a side headlock. Del Rio works some stomps on Christian until he gets tossed over the top rope. Big baseball slide dropkick from Christian sends Del Rio into the announcer's table as we take a quick commercial break. When we return Christian is getting slammed into the steel steps at ringside by Del Rio. Back inside the ring Del Rio hits a big backbreaker on Christian for a two count. Del Rio starts taunting Christian in the corner, slapping him around. Christian gives him a big slap of his own and then heads to the top rope, but Del Rio meets him there and delivers a nasty superplex off the top. Kind of sloppy execution from Del Rio, but it made the move look much more devastating. Christian rolls up Del Rio and almost gets the win then and there, but Del Rio kicks out at the last possible second. Both men clothesline eachother over the top rope and tumble to the floor as the ref starts his count. Both men barely make it back inside before the ten count. Del Rio goes for a big back senton (Dick Togo style!) but Christian moves out of the way and starts hitting big forearms on Alberto, trying for the comeback. Missile dropkick off the top gets another very close two count for Christian. He heads to the top again and hits a huge cross-body, but again Del Rio kicks out at two as the crowd is starting to really get into it now. Del Rio tries for the flying armbar, but Christian evades and tries for a springboard sunset flip, only to get catapulted right into the turnbuckle. Del Rio applies the armbar finisher now, but Christian immediately gets the ropes and Del Rio has to break. Brodus Clay at ringside tries to distract Christian, but Edge spears him. Christian climbs to the top rope but Del Rio hits that big running enziguri he's been using and that's enough to get him the win and the title shot at 10:29 (shown). And for the 9000th time, my hopes as a Christian fan have been crushed. These two have developed some good chemistry together in no time at all, and this continued their streak of good Smackdown main events as Del Rio gets the win, which is really the right call to be fair given how quickly he was beaten at Wrestlemania. Another fine match between these two to close out an episode of Smackdown. ***


We go off the air with a crushed Christian in the ring next to Edge as Del Rio walks away with a big smirk on his face.

Bottom Line: Pretty decent show this week as once again Christian and Del Rio had a good main event that made the show worth checking out, if only for that. The rest of the show was pretty bad though, with a ton of highlights packages that ate up a ridiculous amount of time and another really bad 8 man tag that continues the neverending burial of The Corre. A large chunk of this show is totally skip-able so I can't exactly give the show a glowing review, even with the fun main event. Still, the Del Rio/Edge/Christian trifecta continues to make Smackdown watchable, so I can't be too harsh. We'll go with a thumbs in the middle for this week's show. slightly leaning up.


Score: 5.5/10

Reviews Featured on 411mania

Greetings blog readers! Good news, after a few weeks of playing "email tag" with the editor in chief over at 411mania, I've finally had my account activated over there and have been given access to post my reviews in the wrestling section! This is a big step for me as 411 has been a go-to website for me for many years and a lot of the very best recappers and reviewers in the business do and have written for 411, great writers like JD Dunn, Scott Keith, Mike Campbell, Ryan Rozanski, Kevin Ford, and my fellow WrestleZone alumnus Thomas Hall among many others. This was a goal I wanted to set for myself when I began doing reviews in the first place, so I'm quite happy to have finally accomplished it. I'll still of course be posting all of my work here, as well as select reviews for Scott Keith's Blog of Doom (which is buzzing with activity after Wrestlemania, lots of great debate going on over there currently) but now I've got a new outlet that should bring in even more readers to my work, so things can only go up from here. Stay tuned over the next few days as I'll officially post my first review over at 411.

Thanks for reading as always and stay tuned for a slew of new reviews over the next few weeks, including both of this past weekend's ROH iPPVs as well as the Dragon Gate USA Mercury Rising iPPV among others.

WWE RAW 4/4/11 --- The Rock vs. John Cena @ Wrestlemania 28 is OFFICIAL

WWE RAW 4/4/11
April 4th, 2011
Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 16,697 +/- ?

We're 24 hours removed from Wrestlemania XXVII, the biggest show of the year, and we've got a lot more questions than answers to be blunt. There's been a lot of backlash over last night's show online among the IWC, some overly negative, others sharing the same thoughts that I had, that the show was underwhelming/disappointing, but certainly not bad. The booking, however, certainly was bad. Del Rio loses his title match in ten minutes, Daniel Bryan and Sheamus get nixed from the live show in favor of bad comedy segments with Pee Wee Herman (seriously), and most importantly the main event title match between The Miz and John Cena was full of questionable booking. Bad enough to do a false finish of a double countout/draw for your MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA, but then to have The Rock come in and make total chumps of both Cena and The Miz? The only way that booking is forgivable is if we do in fact get confirmation of a Rock-Cena wrestling match sometime this week, and a lot of people are hoping that's what will be announced on tonight's show. There's a whole lot riding on tonight's show, so let's see what they have in store for us.


Your hosts are Jim Ross (hell yeah!) and Jerry "The King" Lawler


We open the show with Triple H's music hitting and The Game making his way out to the ring to a nice pop from the still raucous Atlanta crowd. He says that he's never been a guy to get nervous, but last night he was almost hyperventilating before his match with the Undertaker. Triple H puts over how tough the Undertaker is, yadda yadda yadda, he can survive over 9000 tombstones and pedigrees, about what you'd expect to hear from him following his match with Undertaker. Triple H says that he just wanted to say "Thank You" to the Dead Man for the fight of his life last night. He hints that last night may be the last we ever see of the Undertaker, only to basically contradict himself seconds later to say that he knows Undertaker will be back and when he is back, he'll be waiting for him. So what, we're setting up a rematch for next year's Mania? Hard to understand the logic there as everyone is probably expecting Cena to face 'Taker next year.


At ringside Jim Ross lets us know that tonight Michael Cole apparently will challenge Jerry Lawler to another match. I don't know how they managed to fuck up the easiest angle on the entire show last night, but they did. To add to my nostalgic feeling with JR on commentary and guys like Triple H, The Rock, and Stone Cold on RAW we get a trailer for the upcoming Scream 4 during the commercial break. It's 90s nostalgia everywhere man!


When we return Michael Cole comes out, still in his goofy amateur wrestling ring gear from last night. He gets some nice heat, bragging about his DQ win over The King last night at Wrestlemania. I truly have no idea what the point of continuing this angle is. Cole wants the crowd to forever refer to him as "Mr. Wrestlemania", but something tells me that won't stick. King gets on the mic as well and tells him to shut his pie hole. Can someone explain to me why they gave these two guys nearly 15 minutes last night at Wrestlemania if they were going to wait to blow it off the next night on free TV? Someone, anyone? Cole challenges him to a rematch and King accepts on the spot, but the rematch is against Swagger of course, not Cole. Sure, whatever.


Jack Swagger vs. Jerry Lawler

Not sure what the point of this is, but one things for sure: it is GREAT to hear Jim Ross back on commentary on Monday Night RAW. He's been gone too long man. King avoids some of Swagger's early offense only to get speared in the corner. Swagger misses a leg drop and King gets a near fall. Swagger misses the Swagger Bomb and the King lays him out with a nice dropkick. King goes to the second rope for the fist drop but Cole distracts him and the King winds up chasing him around and back into the ring. He pummels him for a bit until Swagger grabs the King's ankle and locks the Ankle Lock on and Jerry taps out at 3:47. Swagger doesn't break the hold so the ref reverses the decision and awards the match to the King. Again I ask what the hell is the point of all of this? This angle should have been blown off last night at 'Mania, and for it to continue does nothing to elevate Cole or King. ¼*


After the match Cole finds some of JR's famous BBQ sauce in his destroyed "Cole Mine" (complete with yellow safety tape tied around it) and squirts it onto JR to try and get some measure of revenge, causing JR to chase him off to the back as we cut to commercial.


When we return Michael Cole is on commentary, flipping out about what just happened. Damnit, you couldn't have JR call the rest of tonight's show? Seriously? END THIS COLE HEEL SHTICK ON COMMENTARY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Cole works great as a heel. He works terribly as a play-by-play man and basically buries the talent every time he opens his mouth. Booker T and Josh Matthews join him.


Randy Orton/Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk/Cody Rhodes

Orton and Rhodes start us off, I wonder if they'll even acknowledge the Legacy connection. I shit you not, Michael Cole is doing traditional babyface play-by-play man commentary now, talking about how Punk scarred Orton and his wife last week. Orton gets a few shots in on Cody and then tags Rey in, who's wearing all white which is interesting considering the rumors of Sin Cara (Mistico)'s debut being tonight and the all-white look being Mistico's traditional look. Rey's mask is even all white like Mistico's, which is weird. We take a commercial break and when we return Orton is in the middle of dropping a big knee on Cody for a quick two count. Mysterio tags in and springboards in with a seated senton for a quick two count of his own on Rhodes, but Cody quickly gets back to his feet and tags CM Punk in. He and Cody trade quick tags, double-teaming Rey but he just tags Orton in quickly anyways. Clothesline gets Orton two on Cody again Punk tags back in and goes to work on Randy's injured leg, which is still bandaged. He puts Orton up for the GTS, but Orton counters and tries for the RKO only for Punk to evade and sweep the knee for a near fall. We take ANOTHER commercial break, which is weird as hell since we JUST took one but I guess they're saving up TV time for the big overrun later tonight. When we return Punk has Orton tied up in an Indian death lock briefly but Randy breaks it and gives him a back suplex. He gets the hot tag to Rey and Mysterio is fired up, hitting a seated senton and a big quebrada on Punk for a two count. Rey tries for the 619, but Rhodes catches him with a big knee to the face off the second rope, 1-2--NOO! Mysterio gets the shoulder up at two just barely. Rey's sternum gets slammed into the turnbuckle in Bret Hart fashion by Rhodes and Punk tags back in, continuing the isolation of Rey in the heel's corner. Rey counters with a hurricanrana on Punk and gets the hot tag to Orton, who cleans house on Rhodes with the snap powerslam. Elevated DDT from the second rope on Rhodes and Orton goes into Viper mode, pounding the mat. Orton hits an Olympic Slam on Rhodes but Punk breaks the pin up at a count of two. Rhodes gets hit with the 619 from Mysterio and walks right into the RKO from Orton, which puts him away at 10:08 (shown). This is more like it, this is what RAW has been lacking the last few weeks---just a good, long TV match to hype the crowd up and add some extra heat to both corresponding feuds. I'm shocked this got as much time as it did, but I'm certainly not complaining, good stuff. ***


After the match we see Stone Cold Steve Austin backstage, who runs into Triple H and gives him credit for a hell of a match last night and says he'll be there the next time it happens. I assume he's just here to hype the Tough Enough premiere tonight after RAW, but we'll see what they have him do here. We take a commercial break and when we return we get another Sin Cara video package.


Stone Cold's music hits and the Rattlesnake makes his way out to the ring while Michael Cole harps on commentary like an evil, screeching demon queen. He's become that bad on commentary, truly. Austin lets us know Tough Enough is on after RAW tonight (REALLY?!) and has the crowd give him a few "Hell Yeahs" before introducing a few of the contestants for this season of Tough Enough. A few model-looking women and quite a few nondescript looking guys. It's too weird seeing M-Dogg 20 in there with these guys. Austin puts over the trainers and the kids before letting the kids introduce themselves briefly to everyone. First up is a blonde kid named "Ryan Howe", who claims to be a rock and roller and a wrestler. I'll try to write down all of their names here, hold on..."Christina Crawford", followed by "AJ Kersh", "Arianna Andrews", "Luke Robinson", "Jeremiah Riggs", "Rima Fakih", "Michael Zaky", "Eric Watts" (big and black with an afro, so no, not Bill's kid), "Matt Cappicioni" (M-Dogg 20) and some other trashy skank as well as "Martin Kisouse" I think? I don't know, don't quote me on some of these names, it's just what they sounded like, I'm sure I misspelled a bunch of their names and whatever. Austin gets back on the mic and the crowd chants "Stun them all!" until The Miz's music hits and he comes out with a mic. Miz, having been on Tough Enough years ago, gets a nice pop from the crowd. Miz puts over his "valor and determination" while fighting Cena at Wrestlemania last night. He brags about his win last night and walks down to the ring, telling the Tough Enough contestants to soak in the spotlight now because this is as close as they'll ever get to a WWE championship. Oh you can just smell the stunner a mile away here. For some bizarre reason I've just noticed that Alex Riley next to him is wearing a tuxedo straight out of a James Bond film, looking ridiculous. The crowd chants "One more match!" at Steve as Miz challenges Austin here and now to "one more match". Austin has the Tough Enough contestants clear the ring and as soon as they do Miz and Riley get a cheap shot on Austin and Riley works him over in the corner. Austin of course turns the tables, stomps a mudhole in Riley, and then gives him a Lou Thesz press. He gives Riley the Stunner and the crowd loves it of course. Austin celebrates with some beers and ends up tossing a bunch of beers to each of the contestants, which for some reason the crowd actually boos (and wow they boo even louder when one or two of them don't catch Steve's throw). Austin and the Tough Enough contestants all celebrate with your traditional beer bash until Austin comes over to Cole in his Cole Mine and he pours a couple of beers on Cole and his equipment. The look on Michael Cole's face is hilarious in a sad, solemn kind of way after all of this. I get hyping Tough Enough for later, but this was a bit too long of a segment for what it was.


Alberto Del Rio vs. Evan Bourne

Let's see where Del Rio's push stands after last night's semi-burial. Bourne doesn't even get a ring entrance, so it looks like jobber city for him tonight. Del Rio dominates to start before Bourne hits a spinning heel kick. Del Rio hits him with a big boot in the corner and then kicks Bourne out to the floor. He follows him out and just tosses him into the barricade before throwing him back into the ring for a near fall. Small but noticeable "Del Rio!" chant starts up while Bourne rolls up Del Rio for a quick two count. Bourne hits a big jumping knee and gets another near fall. Bourne sets up for the Air Bourne but Del Rio runs up with his big running enziguri and then locks on the flying armbar to finish Bourne off at 2:43. Just a total squash to try and get back some of Del Rio's squandered heat, but I don't like having Bourne do the job duty here as they continue to seriously waste that kid. Just filler really. ¼*


After a commercial break we return to see Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler come out. Usual "Excuse me!" heat-seeking stuff as apparently they're facing Morrison and Trish next. Glad to see Trish still sticking around, for now atleast. She looked good last night and I'd actually love to see her return to the women's division, though I'm doubtful that will ever happen.


John Morrison/Trish Stratus vs. Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero

Ziggler and Morrison start us off briefly but it's not long before Vickie tags in, bringing Trish in. Vickie tries to replicate Snooki's handspring back elbow but fails miserably in some lame comedy stuff. Trish rolls her up for a near fall and then lays in some big chops. Trish really deserves more than this man. Vickie gets a cheap shot and gets a near fall of her own. Vickie misses a butt splash and Morrison and Ziggler tag back in. Morrison hits a leg lariat and then misses a springboard cross-body block attempt. Ziggler gives Morrison a German suplex that takes him all the way inside out, 360 degrees for a close two count before Trish breaks it up and slaps the taste out of Ziggles' mouth. This sets up Morrison for the Starship Pain, and that puts Ziggler away at 3:24. Again just a waste of time here. Vickie's comedy is lame, Trish is being wasted, and we'd all rather just see Morrison and Ziggler wrestle each other without all these women thrown in the mix. ½*


WWE US Title Match
Sheamus © vs. Daniel Bryan

Hey look! It's those hard-working, over midcarders who had their match disposed of in favor of some Big Show comedy wrestling. I figured they would just disappear forever. Glad to see we're getting this match tonight at the very least though. Sheamus has new trunks. Sheamus overpowers Bryan to start with a big double axe handle for a near fall. Bryan gets tossed into the corner and Sheamus stomps on his fingers and lays in some stiff forearms as the crowd is pretty dead here since they've done everything in their power to totally kill Bryan's heat over the last few months and it seems they've finally accomplished their goal. Sheamus locks Bryan into an abdominal stretch as a nice "Daniel Bryan!" chant starts up. See, even when being buried the kid's still over. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse backbreaker but Bryan gets the shoulder up at two again. Bryan finally gets some offense in with a few big kicks and a couple of clotheslines and he hits a running knee for a two count. Bryan tries for the LaBelle Lock, which gets a nice pop, but Sheamus powers out and counters with a nice backbreaker and follows it with the big Brogue Kick which is enough for the win at 3:52. And the Daniel Bryan burial continues. I like Sheamus and as a former WWE champ it's no huge insult for Bryan to lose to him, but he's been beaten clean by Sheamus several times now in under five minutes, and it's not helping anyone at all. Decent for the time it got I guess. *¼


After the match Sheamus continues the beatdown on Bryan until suddenly Sin Cara's music hits and the Mexican sensation is live here on RAW! He sprints down to the ring hits a big jumping hurricanrana on Sheamus followed by an spin kick and then he flies off the top rope with a BEAUTIFUL cross-body, wiping out Sheamus. He runs off afterwards. Not quite the debut most of us were expecting, but he showed some of his high-flying ability and the crowd clearly is going to LOVE this guy once they get to really see him work, so this was an exciting debut.


After a quick commercial break we return and John Cena's music hits as he comes out to his expected boos at this point. Things seemed to turn around in 2010 for Cena in terms of fan reactions, but ever since The Rock returned he's gone back to almost 2006-levels of fan heat. Cena gets to the ring and grabs the mic, lamenting on The Rock's actions last night at Wrestlemania, costing him his title match. Cena doesn't seem to hold it against The Rock though, and seems glad that the match didn't end in a draw. He congratulates The Miz and says that he's earned everyone's respect. For what? Pinning him after a Rock Bottom? Cena says it's obvious that The Rock doesn't like or respect him very much. He says The Rock got involved in his business last night, so they have some business of their own to settle right now. And with that The Rock's music hits and the Great One makes his way out to the ring. "Fruity Pebbles!" chant starts up as the two men eye each other in the middle of the ring. The Rock says that Cena had to know what was going to happen last night after what he did last week on RAW, as it's what the people love. He says Cena is wrong about respect though, and The Rock claims to respect Cena (which gets some boos stupidly). He says that he knows Cena lives and breathes the WWE and it was that drive that made him one of the best WWE champions of all time. This doesn't change the fact though that he just flat out doesn't like Cena. The Rock claims they are completely opposite in how they look, talk, and fight, but they're very similar in how they both want to be the best at whatever they do. Rock cracks a joke on Cena's fashion, and Cena cracks at him about the Tooth Fairy movie. Cena tells The Rock to listen to the people and that everyone is there not because they want them to talk, but they want them to WRESTLE. Cena says the fans want to see John Cena vs. The Rock, comparing it to legendary match-ups like Michael Jordan vs. LeBron James or Muhammed Ali vs. Mike Tyson. Cena asks The Rock if he wants to talk about it, or "bring it", and takes his shirt off. The Rock tells Cena he has "no idea" what he just asked for. The Rock says he's asking for the biggest match-up of all time and he says they put it on the grandest stage of them all, at Wrestlemania 28! The Rock offers Cena his hand...and Cena shakes it! We are ON Ladies and Gentlemen! The biggest match up in YEARS is officially on the cards! Afterwards suddenly The Corre runs down to ringside and surrounds The Rock and Cena in the ring. They enter the ring and beat down both Cena and The Rock for a bit until Cena hits Heath Slater with the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Not to be outdone of course, The Rock gives Wade Barrett a spinebuster and delivers the People's Elbow to him! Slater gets the Attitude Adjustment and Rock gives Barrett the Rock Bottom as this has become a game of one-upmanship here. We close out the show with The Rock and Cena celebrating in the ring.

Bottom Line: Decent show for the most part here. We got a great tag match between Punk/Rhodes and Orton/Mysterio which gave the show some badly needed wrestling, but they still ended up having several segments that were just flat out filler if not total wastes of the audience's time. Sin Cara's debut was fun if a bit underwhelming and having him take out Sheamus like that was a great way to introduce him to the WWE fans. Fortunately though the final closing segment to tonight's show saved it by FINALLY confirming that The Rock vs. John Cena WILL happen, and thank god because if they didn't truly build up to an actual match then many, MANY fans were going to be royally pissed about the end of Wrestlemania. The finish to the show sealed it as a good show though, because finally we get confirmation for what will be the biggest hyped match in many, many years. Thumbs Up.


Score: 6.5/10